get it out

When I first heard the news

I was shocked and dismayed

Me have hepatitis C?

I thought I’d been played

Cause when my doc told me

“Just don’t bleed on your kids”

I lost all control and my life hit the skids

That one single moment

It changed my whole view

My thoughts filled with pain

My life never the same

This refrain kept repeating

As my soul shouted out

There’s a virus inside me

Get it out! 

Get it out!

I drew my kids close to tell them my fate

And said my goodbyes and live without hate

Cause I would be dead in a matter of years

And they might be infected, my greatest of fears

After damaging them for life with this dramatic ‘goodbye’

I called Jon on the phone and started to cry

And I told him “divorce me” I’m infectious and sickly

Jon I insist, get away from me quickly

That one single moment

It changed their whole view

Their thoughts full of terror

Hoping there was some error

The refrain kept repeating

As their souls shouted out

There’s a virus inside her

Oh my god!

Get it out!

Druggies* and whores* that’s who gets this infection

Not middleclass moms who live in perfection

But I confessed and explained that I wasn’t “really”

A junkie* (or whatever) but their stares became chilly

Like I was a leper to avoid at all costs

And when my friends shunned me that’s when I got lost

That one single moment

They changed their whole view

Eyes filled with accusation

And a little fascination

The refrain kept repeating

My thoughts clouded now

I’m not really contagious

I’ll manage

Somehow!

Poison medicine injected until out my hair fell

Needles and pills daily and living in hell

Dropping 30 pounds on a drug induced diet

Is when curious folk started acting real quiet

Spreading rumors I had AIDS or was going damn crazy

And I let them believe it cause at least it kept them busy

That one single moment

They changed their whole view

Rumors rife with suspicion

Not one ounce of contrition

The refrain kept repeating

As my mouth snapped shut

It’s just a virus for chrissakes,

Why don’t you

Shut the hell up!

My family embraced me with true love and protection

I didn’t have to ask they just gave me connection

Loved me unconditionally through angry depression

Through poison through treatment they never questioned

My choices or my secrets or my past or my tears

Instead gave me love and shared in my fears

That one single moment

I changed my whole view

I felt my whole family

Rally around me

The refrain kept repeating

As my heart shouted out

There’s a virus inside us

And we’re

Getting it out!

I failed the first round, or the drugs they failed me

But a second chance came round to become virus free

I asked my kids near leaving the nest in a hurry

If they’d prefer that I wait so they wouldn’t have worry

And they both said NO Mom – we want to be near

In case you need help, we’ll all be right here

Even though I did my “I’m gonna die” drama

They showed how much they love me – their not-perfect mamma

That one single moment

We changed our whole view

Our hearts became joyful

Cause these drugs real powerful

The refrain kept repeating

One voice united in shout

There’s no more virus inside us!**

We got it out!

We got it out!